Yes, Together We Can
by (Capt) Ravi K Mahajan
8. ATTITUDES - WILL POWER
Surround yourself with POSITIVE People.
Find people who will Challenge you, Believe in You, Inspire & Team-up with You, to make this world a Better Place to Live for Everyone.
When God was making this world, Thinking power and intelligence, were bestowed only on humans. He also gave us one more ‘KEY’ to be used by us to know our way to true happiness, success, joy and satisfaction. That key in life is our ‘ATTITUDE’. There will always be a few things in life which would be deficient but then, you have umpteen number of other things which make us happy, joyous, satisfied, contented through our ‘POSITIVE ATTITUDE’.
Same old story! Half a glass of water! Whether it is half full or half empty? Half a glass, full of water becomes half empty, when your attitude to life is negative, while the same half glass becomes half full, when your bent of mind is positive. This positive bent is what a pleasing or magnetic personality is all about. When you are positive, you will see good in everything. While, when you are negative, you will find bad in almost everything. And I would like to assure the readers, that you would almost always find something bad, something to criticize, something to blame someone for, something to feel irritated about, something to boil over or shout at, if you are looking for all that. If negativity is your bent of mind, you will always focus on few things which make you unhappy, ignoring an ocean of good things which God has blessed you with. Same way, if positivity is your bent, you will always roll in abundance and plenty. Choice is yours.
Though life is both positive and negative, it is seen that negatives come naturally to us. But the change from negative to positive is quite easy. To convert negative into positive, we even have to fight our natural instincts also, which are mostly negative. For example, when situation gets heated, we easily give in to the negatives, irritation, impatience or blame game. Though everyone knows that by cultivating a non-confrontational approach and by optimally utilizing our in-built abilities, we can achieve very good positive outcome which would bring us peace, harmony and happiness.
For positive outcomes in life, we have to cultivate positive attitude and make a habit of it. It is up to you to choose your course, an easy path through an angry egoistic reaction, which may lead to loss of face and opportunities later or it could be a well considered response, which would surely lead us to calm, poise, dignity, happiness and fruitful results, beneficial to all but most of all, to you and in turn, to your family, friends and society. Positive attitude entails us to be thoughtful, introspective and evaluative, because it originates from our inner core, which has to be strong and powerful. It is the strength of character and discipline which shines in a person with positive attitude, will power and steadfast determination.
Why POSITIVE ATTITUDE-WILL POWER are coupled as one lesson in this book is, because they both lead to and are indispensable ingredients for a common goal, that is achieving SUCCESS in Life. Whether it is domestic family life, friends, social relationships, business or profession, a person with Positive attitude and Strong Will, will always have an edge, Success assured. Through mind and spirit, think success, believe in success, visualize success and you have created a powerful force to achieve success through positive attitude and will power.
Human beings are unique, intelligent and with discerning mind and the only species on this planet knowing the difference between right and wrong. Then, why do we let ourselves be taken over by crass negative forces, by being reactive and loose a sea of opportunities waiting for us, when we adopt positive attitude which makes us happy, energized, blissful and joyful? Question is, why don’t we do that more often to change the course of our life from negative to positive? Why do we get lured by negatives, easier ways which inhibit our true progress and growth?
Same way, strong will power infuses the mind and body with enthusiasm, optimism, courage, hope and energy to act. Faith is also the byproduct of Positive Attitude and Strong Will. Always have faith in your faith and trust your faith. Never ever doubt your faith. Faith is a very wide term. Do not limit it to God only. Raise others’ level to make them worthy of your faith. Through your good deeds, positive outlook, strong will power, habit of standing resolutely against difficulties & setbacks, by being humble, humane and kind, raise your level so much that you generate explicit faith in yourself and others follow you.
Our attitudes are formed during our formative years, 4-14 years of age, when we are in school mostly. Basically, three factors(3E) determine our attitude in life ie Environment, Experience and Education. Environment would normally consist of factors like home atmosphere, school, work, culture, religion, traditions etc. Experiences in life can both be negative or positive which exert great influence. Education does not mean only academic education. By education here we mean holistic education, wisdom, social involvement, integrity, kindness and consideration for others and such things. Since everyone in this world is unique, readers can chose their own ways and yardstick for forming positive attitudes under the above three factors.
Our mind is home to our thinking and a very fertile ground, where anything and everything grows. If you put the seeds of good thoughts and deeds, they will grow very well and if you grow negative thoughts, they too grow well, in fact, more vigorously. Mind is home to both good YOU and bad YOU. Both good and bad keeps fighting with each other to maintain dominance. You have to ensure predominance of good you or positive thoughts, to always prevail over the bad you or negative thoughts. Stronger will always prevails over the weaker will. Good thoughts lead to good actions, which leads to good character, which leads to your destiny. Hence, your thoughts are your destiny in the making.
A person with positive attitude will create benefits where ever he is. He will be a team player, messenger of goodwill, trouble shooter, person of substance and integrity and will be good at forming and maintaining meaningful relationships. On the other hand, a negative person will breed acrimony and bitterness where ever he is. He is bad at relationships, is a trouble monger and untrustworthy. Positive and negative persons would create heaven or hell anywhere, by their sheer presence. So, create heaven anywhere by your sheer presence. Life gives you both, problems and solutions. Be a part of the solution not the problem. This is done by developing a positive attitude to life, by accepting everything in its stride and making the best of it, not only for yourself but for everyone around.
Positive Thinking or Attitude may or may not guarantee success or fulfillment, but negative thinking or attitude, definitely guarantees failure. Likewise, positive sense of humour makes everyone smile, while an unguarded sarcastic remark, is like a whip and may be remembered for a lifetime. Positive attitude helps build love, trust, peace and tranquility in every relationship but one negative experience spoils a relationship for a lifetime. Forgiveness is a positive act while revenge is negative. Unfortunately, positive attitude is shallow but negative attitude is deep rooted, intense and aggressive. But constant work and practice with profound commitment, can make us more and more positive
‘It’s nice to be important, but it’s more important to be nice’. In the game of life, as we progress materially, we place great value on being important and in getting what we want. To achieve that, we might indulge in negatives like lie, meanness, cheat or steal. When we become important through such devious means, we also become a bully and sensitive to our newly acquired status. In this process, our wise thinking and sense of fair judgment gets clouded, giving way to arrogance, false ego, hatred and envy. Such negative gains and achievements, cannot remain with us for long. Though we might think them to be permanent, sooner than later, these are snatched away mercilessly from us, when some stronger and bigger bully arrives.
Take the case of the corrupt persons mentioned in this book, who have been occupying the headlines in newspapers and magazines these days. In their cases, stronger bully may be CBI, ED, IT or Police. Many of them have been arrested, and are spending time in jails, disgraced. Imagine the condition of a corrupt person having stashed away thousands of crores of stolen money in Swiss banks, but now spending time in solitary confinement in jails. What a downfall, because of embracing or giving in to negatives, bringing disgrace to themselves, their families and parties. Would you like to change place with them in spite of their crores?
But when we take the later part of the above quote, ‘it’s more important to be nice’, the Positive part, we learn what fantastic glory we can have by being nice to others because ultimately, it is what we sow, we reap. When we are kind, considerate, generous, loving and honest with others, we get back the same from others in abundance. Being important, may give you that temporary & false sense of importance and boost your ego, but it is only when you are being nice to others, that you will get that permanent feeling of fulfillment, satisfaction and vibrancy in life.
We fall for easy things, easier ways, naturally. Most of these are negatives, which come more naturally to us. Positive attitude has to be generated, while negative is very much in existence. A little casual approach on your part and you embrace negatives in life. By constant practice, you have to get over those negatives consciously, create and adopt Positive attitude, outlook, perception. Once you have created that, it is easier. From then on, you will always look for positives and create a healthy attitude of positive blissful and rewarding living.
Our deep rooted complexes are the main reasons for our negative attitude. All kind of complexes, prejudices, envy, hate, jealousy comes to us naturally. Free yourself from all such negative feelings and you will be able to come up with positive response to most of the people, situations and problems. Negatives are the easier emotional reactions, while positives are rational approach to life. One taking you down, while other taking you up. Choice for you is easy and distinct. A person buys old, used things which are called scrap or junk. But he sells them as ‘antiques’ adding many hundred times value. That’s what attitude does to life. By negative attitude, you deflate it, while positive attitude inflates and elevates you.
In life, you do not see the things as they are. You see them as you are. When two people of Positive and Negative perception, see or hear the same event, they would relate it totally differently. A loving person lives in a loving world, while a hostile one, lives in a hostile world. If you are loving, good, giving type, helpful, kind, trustworthy and positive, please be rest assured, you will find others also that way. Nature’s law is the positive begets positive. Think of abundance, abundance will be what you will get. Think scarcity, and you will find scarcity waiting for you at every step.
Thoughts are like boomerangs. They come back to us in the same manner we perceive them, positive or negative. Through will power, change the character of your thoughts, from negative to positive. Always seek and look for positives, unfolding Good. You will only see good in the events around you. Even in the dark clouds, look for the silver lining. Life is God’s virtuous gift to you. It is not for wasting in negativism. Be robust, determined in your positive thoughts for the future, which will boomerang into you, sowing a garden of happiness and only good within you.
Positive attitude and strong will are the prerequisites for success. But strong will needs to be properly guided to convert ourselves into an intrinsically strong personality, which exhibits tolerance, self control, patience, discipline and character rather than a trivial egotistic one exhibiting the opposites like greed, arrogance, selfishness etc. Though such an intrinsically strong personality has the power to vanquish the opponent but chooses to forgive, forget and move on.
Specific Positive traits are Faith, Altruism, Courage, Gratitude, Empathy, Hope, Joy, Love, Compassion, High Self Esteem, Enthusiasm, Least expectations, Tolerance and Self Control, Healthy meaningful relationships, giving-sharing-helping attitude, patience, Self belief etc. Negative traits are Ego or false pride, being Selfish, Anger, Pessimism, Distrustful of others, indecisive, jealous, resentment, insensibility to others, fearful nature and of course Greed, most destructive of all.
‘Do what you believe in. Believe in what you do’. Best works are produced not by wishes or desires, but by beliefs, by taking great pain and pride in whatever you do. You must always be a step ahead of Positive Thinking, which is ‘Positive Believing’. Positive Believing generates a new dimension in your competence and quality of work produced. Ingredients like initiative, self confidence, commitment and inner energy, which propel you towards your goal of success, are the byproducts of Positive Believing. Never indulge in any wrong doing. The act itself will produce boundless energy within you and push and propel you towards your goal of success.
Any company or organization you take, more than anything, it’s the people, their attitude which will take the company up or down. If the quality of company’s human resource, staff or employees is poor, their attitude towards the company and their duties and responsibilities, is negative, company can never progress. Attitude of the employees has to be positive towards the company, its management, customers and most of all, the employees should consider themselves as the part of the company, not its employees.
A shoe company sent two executives with same qualifications to interiors of Africa for sale of shoes. One sent a message ‘No market for shoes, as no one wears shoes’. But the other one sent the message ‘send as many containers of shoes as possible, as nobody has any shoes’. Same situation for both, but attitudes differ. That’s how success or failure is perceived. That’s where, the Attitude makes all the difference.
As you get up each morning, shun all negatives from your mind and fill it with positives such as honesty, kindness, helpfulness, compassion, dignity, gratitude, forgiveness, faith, giving and sharing, which would open all the cherishing doors of happiness, serenity, solace and joy that lie within you. ‘Mind is everything. We become what we think’. Your mind is the most powerful creative force and home for the positive attitude with the help of stronger will. Keep telling yourself ‘Life is good, people are good and my country is good’. Supposing, you had been borne in countries in turmoil and bloodshed, always occupying the newspaper headlines these days. You are the luckiest person to be borne an Indian enjoying peace, tranquility, growth and harmony. Take pride in being an Indian and Thank God for that. Think positive, be positive, visualize positive and you will see only good and positives happening to you through your will power. Since you reap what you sow, you get back what you give, always expect to get good when you distribute goodness.
The force and power of human mind through will and attitude should never be undervalued. Human will has achieved and overcome what, at one time looked insurmountable obstacles like climbing Mount Everest, flying huge fortresses in the air or communication networks which looked impossible earlier.
THE POSITIVE ALWAYS DEFEATS NEGATIVES;
COURAGE OVERCOMES FEAR,
PATIENCE OVERCOMES ANGER & IRRITABILITY.
LOVE OVERCOMES HATRED, ALWAYS.
LEARN TO LISTEN
Opportunity, sometimes, knocks very softly.
As A Good Listener, You will be more popular
than a Good Speaker.
When you have
nothing to say, say nothing.