Yes, Together We Can
by (Capt) Ravi K Mahajan
35. SUCCESS PARADIGM
Your Success is your personal Domain. It’s your View or Feel of a Life, Well Lived. Do not let anyone Trespass your Personal Domain.
Since all of us think differently, everyone has his own idea and perception of what is Success. Well, Success can be called pursuing worthy goals in life, without violating rights of others. Success is different for different persons, is like the idea of relaxation is different for different persons. Once you are back from work, one may relax with a book or magazine, TV, movies or simply switch off the lights in your bedroom, lie down and relax. Same way, Success for each of us means something different, but is linked to our achievements in life.
For achieving those goals, worthy or unworthy, you have to set the goals. The question is when? Obvious answer is, when you are growing up, may be looking for a career after you have finished education or professional courses. Incidentally, it is very difficult to find people, who had set any particular goals at the beginning of their careers. Most people simply wade through life or careers, meeting challenges and situations as they arise. In fact, so many people I have met, had no idea at the beginning of their careers, what or where they would be, when they are fifty or so. Some might have had some vague ideas, but most did not have a clue about any specific goals they intended to pursue.
Quite naturally so, when you are a 22-24 years youngster, looking for a career or going into a career, you do not think, what and how would it be, when you are fifty. At the young age, when you join an organization at lower level or start a business from scratch, you might fancy higher ups, but, rarely visualize yourself as someone close to retirement at fifty years or so. People are also quite afraid of setting goals, lest they may not be able to achieve them, and termed failure. Of course, some of them work very hard to go up in the ladder of life. But they also are not very goal specific. Future unpredictability is another reason. This is my experience with most of the people, but exceptions may always be there.
Yes, we should set goals. Then only we can specifically work towards achieving those set goals. Though it may appear neither realistic nor practical in the beginning to set any specific long term goals, because how things will take shape in future, is difficult to predict. I have known a number of so-called both successful or unsuccessful people, who knew nothing about goal setting in the beginning, but still some achieved so much or while others were just mediocre.
However, first let us analyze ‘SUCCESS’ and then you can have a fair idea as to what sort of Successful person you would want to be at the end of your career. First and foremost point here is, how you perceive Success? Or what is your idea of success? Or whom you will call Successful? Since every human being is unique and different, everyone would have his own idea of success, his own yardstick. For most of the people, incidentally, Success might mean the amount of wealth they have created or accumulated over the years and social or professional status, they have achieved during their life time with that wealth.
Unfortunately, most people connect success with material gains only. There are many books available in the book stores on ‘Success’, but in most of them, ‘Success’ is perceived as pursuing materialistic goals only. Well, I am very emphatic that ‘Success’ may only be part materialism, but mainly it is something totally different. Yes, money is important in life and you have to be comfortable with that first thing, but there are many other things also important, which contribute substantially to your inner feeling of well being, joy, satisfaction and happiness. At the end of the day, if one has made tons of money, but in other areas discussed bellow, have not made much inroads, I would call him a failure in various degrees.
Success is not how others see you, but how you look at yourselves. Material gains or status are mostly outward and are for ostentatious living, which can never give you any real value, satisfaction or joy. Only when you are obsessed with accumulation of wealth, you would take pleasure and pride in your material achievements. That pleasure and pride is more out of looking yourself up and others down. This kind of success can never give you the satisfaction, joy and happiness, which one badly looks for, when one is at the wrong side of age. That is the time, when Success really counts. If one has achieved only materialistic success, but failure in various degrees in other areas of life, it really counts to nothing achieved.
Yes, money is important. First and foremost requirement of a successful ending is that the person should be financially secure. If husband has been the bread winner, he has to evaluate their joint financial requirements. That much and little more should be there, which can take care of them in old age. To feel successful, under no circumstances, either of them should be dependant on anyone for their financial needs, even on their siblings. Since, the death is unpredictable, both must ensure that other person who might have to live alone after one leaves, financial details are known to the other, to enable him or her to live a life of dignity and poise.
Second requirement of success is that siblings must be well settled and independent. This is being written with prejudice towards none, but if you have large fortunes accumulated, and still held by you, your life will not be as peaceful as you would have liked it to be. In old age, if you are holding excessive wealth, you are inviting problems for yourself and your spouse, for whom you are solely responsible. So the wealth should be such that it must comfortably last till either of you survive, because you cannot carry anything along with you, when the last call comes from Him.
At the end of the day, feel of success at the end of your career, is more important than anything else, when you can look back with satisfaction and a sense of pride and accomplishment. It is when your heart and mind are filled with joy. You have to have a clean conscience that while you were going up, you did not pull anyone down. You were able to make most of the people willingly cooperate with you in your ascent, and you have rewarded everyone adequately.
Success is not the key to Happiness but it’s the Happiness, which is an important ingredient of the feel of success. Love what you do and Success is yours. Success is whichever side you look, you can be proud at the galaxy of friends looking admiringly at you. Sometimes, you yourself are overwhelmed by the love and affection showered on you by not only your near and dear ones, but whomsoever you have come across. It is that sense of satisfaction, which comes after you have given more than you got, having fulfilled all your responsibilities with grace and dignity.
Being Successful will be known to you by the depth of relationships, you have created during your lifetime. It is when you have no expectations from others. It is when at the end of the inning, you realize your intrinsic values, by doing things as per your convictions rather then playing to the gallery. Being successful is when others, younger or elders, look at you for guidance, motivation and inspiration with explicit faith, trust and hope.
Many times in this book, I have asked you to concentrate on your Karma or action. Yes, because when you start your career, you have to put in lots of intelligent hard work, which requires utmost concentration to succeed in your daily battles. By setting a long term un-foreseeable goal, you would always remain tense or disturbed, how much you have achieved or vice versa. Such a situation is not very conducive and helpful in achieving, what you should or becoming what you aspire.
Since this book is written for everyone, let us see how you fare when you set goals. Without Goals or specific objectives, you cannot put resources available to maximum use. Be it Cricket, Football, hockey or golf, you enjoy them, because specific goals are there. Imagine a game of cricket without target score, Football or Hockey without goalposts and golf without holes. Unconceivable, is it not? Same way, in life you tend to put in your best, when you have set goals, have a game plan to achieve them, organize and think how best you can do that.
All great men in history, visualized and conceived in their minds, and then set their goals. Then they made a plan with alternatives to achieve the goals, they had set in their minds. The moment you are able to visualize the goal, target, or destiny, you get the feel of it which motivates you and firmly put you on the road to victory. You have to have both short and long term goals. Short term goals are like the steps on a ladder. Both short and long term goals, have to be specifically set, not vague. On your way up the ladder, you must be able to measure your achievements from time to time. Of course, Goals have to be achievable and realistic and set with great care, to avoid the disappointment at a later date. They also must be time bound, because human nature is deadline driven.
Sometime, people feel very much discouraged and despondent, if they have the feeling that in-spite of their best efforts, nothing fruitful is resulting towards achieving their set goals. The most tried out law of the universe is that results are never in your hands, only action is. So keep trying, keep doing your action, your ‘Karma’, your Best. While achieving your goals, do not do anything, which you may regret later, like pulling others down or things like that. At the end of the day, it is more important to have a clean conscience, because euphoria about your achievements will die down sooner than later, but conscience is something you have to live with till end. You should be able to sleep well at night, knowing fully well, that there is no pillow as soft as a clean conscience.
This lesson is about ‘Success Paradigm’, which is holistic approach to Success, not a narrow vision of success to be felt only at the end of your career. ‘Success Paradigm’ is everyday, do your best, which would mean that nothing else is required to be done, after you have done your best. Plan things, imagine and visualize and act accordingly, always keeping an eye on your finances, saving something for the day, when you would be looking back. Most glowing successes are reflections of your inner self. And strong inner self develops from the truth, what you are, not what you pretend to be.
‘Success Paradigm’ is to enjoy your journey, as much as the end. Never give in, never, never. Keep trying, trying, trying hard till you have achieved what you wanted. When Circumstances can’t be changed, change yourself. So you change according to the situation, when you have to. Make persistence a habit. Never accept defeat, believing that miracles do happen, after lots of hard work has been put in and Success, invariably, is the last step on the ladder of failures. Life is a grindstone. It either grinds you down, if you are a chalk or polishes you, if you are granite.
‘Success Paradigm’ is, during your journey, when you could be both Brilliant or Pleasant, you always chose to be Pleasant. It is also, when you had to choose between making money or making relationships, you chose Relationships. ‘Success Paradigm’ is, did you apply each lesson of this book on yourself, which added value to yourself and motivated your friends and others to do the same, helping them and yourself in becoming better human beings.
‘Success Paradigm’ is, you went all over the Globe, seeking knowledge, or job opportunity, but came back to the awaiting arms of your motherland, in spite of better ‘quality of life’, ‘more conducive work culture’ & ‘money’ offered in those distant lands. ‘Success Paradigm’ is, when there was a choice, you chose to remain in your country with your people. You ate and saw everything around the globe, but remained loyal to your own ‘Idli-Dosas’, ‘Puri chana-Alu parantha’ or ‘Paisum-Kheer’.‘Success Paradigm’ is, at the end of it all, you want to look back with pride, knowing that you took right decisions and made the best of every situation in life, regardless of how difficult it was. ‘Success Paradigm’ is the feel that you also elevated your country and countrymen, while you elevated yourself.
My final advise to my young readers, who have their full life before them, is to do your best everyday for success. Do not do anything wrong or unbecoming. Spend your money with care and do not spend it on impulse. Make a habit of giving something to the needy from your hard earnings and make a habit of being helpful. Take full responsibility and put in best efforts for creating meaningful relationships. Show respect and kindness to others, elders or youngsters alike. And never ever stop being good, because others are not responding. Let them not. You be good and nothing but good. And definitely, you are on the right track, on road to SUCCESS, where you belong and which belongs to you. That is ‘Success Paradigm’ for a Rewarding Life full of Grace, Vibrancy, Joy, Happiness and Satisfaction.