Yes, Together We Can
by (Capt) Ravi K Mahajan
34. PLATINUM RULES for a REWARDING LIFE
A Truly Successful and Rewarding Life has to be
Lived By Rules. Make a Habit of the Following Fifteen Rules to Have that PLATINUM EFFECT in Your Life.
There is nothing in this world which cannot be improved or done better. So why not do it for yourself, for your family & friends or for your country. You owe it to all of them, because by doing that, you are returning a part of the abundance, they have all provided you. And when you Try, it is quite easy.
Elevate yourself, motivate yourself, empower yourself by adopting various lessons in this book. Whatever academic and professional qualifications you have, will help you only making money. But lessons in this book will help you become a better human being, a caring-sharing human being, a pleasing personality, a responsible and trustworthy person.
Apart from the powerful lessons, adopt following PLATINUM RULES, which would make you feel immensely better about yourself. These rules are the gist and concentrate of my experiences in last fifty years. Live life as per these rules. You can never go wrong. Adopt them to have that ON TOP OF THE WORLD FEEL:
1. CONNECTIVITY WITH GOD: our Creator, is a must for everyone. This connectivity can only be maintained by Prayer. But Prayer does not mean only going to temples or robotically chanting His name. With God, you must maintain two-way traffic. You may Love God but God should also Love you. And God loves you through your good deeds, kindness & compassion, caring-giving-sharing-helping attitude and other such deeds. Develop explicit faith in Him, which always helps. When looking around does not bring the answer, Try Looking Up.
2. MAINTAIN YOUR UNIQUENESS: You are unique. You are original. God has made you the way you are, the Best. No point aping others. Be yourself. By being yourself, you put something wonderful in this world, which was not there before. When you buy something, are you not careful that it’s original? No one wants duplicates. If you want to be number one, Numero Uno or the Leader, then ‘Do not go where the path may lead. Instead, go where there is no path and LEAVE A TRAIL’. Make others follow you and remember, people follow only Originals not Duplicates.
3. WORK ON YOURSELF: You are responsible for yourself as well as for your thinking. Whatever you are or will be, it is through your efforts only. Hence, on a daily basis, work on yourself. Begin your day with a prayer and end with prayer. In between enrich your day with positive thoughts, enthusiasm, helping others or just being good. Work on your self esteem which would make you a better human being. Give love, kindness and compassion which are badly needed in this world. Be good so that goodness only is returns to you.
4. LIVE IN THE PRESENT but FOCUS ON THE FUTURE: Past is only for learning from things or mistakes or failures. Then forget about it and move ahead. Never cry over past, mistakes made or blame anyone. Always live in the present as Glorious future is in your hands to make. And YOU CAN MAKE IT ONLY IF YOU ARE AT IT. SO BE AT IT. Consciously, keep recreating your future in your mind, not the past. You cannot go back and start a new beginning, but you can start today and make a new ending. So never think that time is past for something good to begin. No. Never. Any time is good time to make a good beginning. A Chinese proverb says ‘Best time to plant a tree was twenty years ago. Second best is now’. So do it now. Ride over the Wisdom gained out of your past mistakes and failures. Through these, generate confidence in yourself, then Commitment to Win.
5. FOLLOW 100 DEGREE RULE: The Life is a BIG GIVE AND TAKE: More you give, more you get. Apply hundred degree rule to life, to get ahead and remain there. You know Water? Boiling point is one hundred degrees, when water turns into steam. Steam has so much power to run locomotives, huge boilers or steamships etc. Till ninety nine degrees, water is only water, without that power, but the last one degree makes all the difference. Same thing is true in life, its achievements. Last Hundredth degree, is the difference between Sachin, Dhoni, Sehwag, Saina Nehwal, Vishwanathan Anand, Leander Paes, Abhinav Bindra, Sushil Kumar or Vajinder Kumar, who did that hundredth degree, after doing ninety nine. In sports, difference between the gold and silver is, sometimes, hundredth of a second. It’s that last bit extra effort, which makes all the difference in standing at number one or two or three at the victory podium in Olympics. Difference between ordinary and extra ordinary is only that ‘extra’. You have to bring in that ‘extra,’ to be extra ordinary. So whatever it is, do a degree better than best, remembering 100 degree rule.
6. SACRIFICE YOUR PRESENT: We are a free country and immensely enjoy the fruits of freedom, because thousands un-named, faceless Indians, subordinated their likes, dislikes, family and ‘good life,’ of which we have become so fond of these days and take it for granted. They gave their very life itself, having no hesitation sacrificing the most precious possession without a second thought, so that we Indians do not live as slaves. In other words, ‘they gave their today, for our tomorrow’. But for the sacrifices made by them, we might still have been the slave of the British.
Same thing applies to your life too. You have to subordinate your present, for what you want to achieve in life. If you want to enjoy good health, you have to exercise and eat right, not what you would love to. You must invest your present, for the bright future in whatever field you want to excel. You have to keep focused on the bigger achievements for future and sacrifice your present. Remember, life gives you enough opportunities. It’s not how fast you run or how high you climb but mainly, how well you bounce.
7. TIME IS PRECIOUS: God has gifted all of us 24 hours a day. Not a second more, nor less. Within these 24 hours, we have to work, sleep, entertain etc. Body needs only about 6 hours of sleep to recoup from fatigue. More than that, its lethargy and laziness. We spend endless hours watching those horrible, so called family serials on TV, which instill so much fear and family horror and intrigue, to poison our minds. In the name of entertainment or relaxation, you can see school-going children, reading thick fiction novels, because they find them entertaining and fashionable. Playing games on computer or mobile, social networking or simply sitting in coffee shops or restaurants, gossiping and whiling away their precious time, has become the norm. After wasting time doing all this, one often hears that there is no time to do exercise, play games, self improvement, learning new vocation or anything which adds value to life. They read fiction novels and call it reading habit. Had sports persons mentioned in point 4 or freedom fighters in point 5 above, spent their time doing all these things, they would never have reached where they ultimately did, the pinnacle or we might still have been slaves of the British. You can not only wish and dream. You have to put solid efforts, utilize your time properly to reach where you want, in life. Time is the most precious commodity you have in life. Make best use of it.
8. MONEY: Money is important, rather very important, indeed. With acquired qualifications, you will have plenty of opportunity to make good money, to live a comfortable and secure life. But few things about money must be remembered, always. Having or capability of earning, will bring you lots of confidence, pleasure and elevate your self esteem. Unfortunately, when money comes, few undesirables also come along. Shun them right away. With money, comes Greed, more you have, more you want. Rich and famous landing in jails or disgraced, are the result of insatiable greed. Ego & Arrogance, that I am superior to everyone. One becomes a despised person in others’ hearts, but no one says on your face, is a different matter. Money must be earned through rightful means. Do not take the short cuts, which may land you in trouble sooner or later. No harm wanting more for a better lifestyle, which is your personal choice but, understand that such things take time. Hence work hard, do your best and then be patient. Pay your taxes properly. Money earned through corruption or corrupt practices, is not worth it’s while, because you lose respect, even in the eyes of your peon and also your peace of mind. Do not ever blow the money away, thinking that you have plenty at present. In future you may not, and saving or cutting your expenses now, would help you in future. Save a fixed amount as a matter of habit. Don’t be spendthrift or miser. Both are bad. When going out with friends, always insist on sharing the money spent. Remain within your means. Avoid taking loans specially for exotic holidays or for lifestyle articles. Buy these only when you have enough money for them. Whether you are doing business, profession or job, whatever you are earning, is only possible with others’ direct or indirect help and cooperation. So, a part of the earnings must be shared with those not so lucky, spent on charity or just helping others to come up. Being helpful, kind, compassionate, sharing-caring type, would bring soothing & serene feeling of satisfaction, peace, happiness and tranquility to your life, which will give you more comfort than the bank balance. Last but not the least, do not ever be overawed by anyone’s financial status. Whatever he is, he is in his own house. Friendship is always amongst equals. You are the king of your kingdom.
Follow the above rules about money and be happy, contented, vibrant and satisfied all through your life.
9. IF ONLY…..or I WISH……: comes to life as a big repentance and remorse, often, later when nothing can be done because like an arrow, words once spoken, action taken or time wasted, cannot be retrieved. So chose your words carefully and act carefully. Speaking without thinking, is like shooting without taking aim. When spoken to, always, take your time to respond, but do not ever over-react. Do not ever show impatience, anger or irritation when talking to anyone. Think quick but talk slow. When you have nothing to say, say nothing.
Be an embodiment of dignified behavior and dignity. Do not be a reactionary. It is easy to be nice to someone who is nice to you but you should be so dignified in your controlled behaviour and outlook, that you be even nice to the one who, you feel, has not nice to you. That is the true measure of your dignity. Always be relaxed and focused. Whenever faced with any unpleasant situation, never lose your control over your emotions, never let them control you and remain positive. Do not react. Just take a deep breath which helps you to overcome your anger and rage. Master your communication skills, both verbal, as well as body language. With little practice, you can master such useful life-skills and teach others and make this world a better place for everyone.
Ultimately, what counts is when you look back, you should have the feeling that, even at stressful times, you maintained your dignity and poise and you will positively feel good about it. Always maintain your own standards. After all, life is about how good you feel later in life, about your past actions not reactions.
10. LEARN TO LEARN: As mentioned at many places in this book, keep learning. Learning Process in life, is always on, till one hits the deathbed. Best way to learn is to share your knowledge with others. Knowledge and happiness are same. When shared, both multiply. Keep company of GOOD only, Good Books, Good People. Person who reads wrong books, is worse than the one, who can’t read them. You can learn even from a child, as well as from an intelligent person. Keep an open mind. Minds and Parachutes work only when open. Mind should be like a sponge. Just as a sponge absorbs whole bit of water and can dispense whole bit, mind should also be always ready to absorb every bit of knowledge and should dispense that knowledge, whenever required for others’ benefit. Save on anything, but spend lavishly on Books.
11. ATTITUDE: In life, you will come across all type of people, situations, circumstances and attitudes, both Positive and Negative. I must caution you that you will find adopting Negatives more naturally, more luring. But always and every time shun negatives, howsoever convenient they might look or appeal. Make it a habit of grasping and adopting positives. Imagine, any lifelong good habit can be formed in just 21 days, by repeatedly doing it. That’s why you find many things repeated in this book to make you adopt them and make a habit of it. So take the trouble, take the pain, take the inconvenience and be on the positive side of everything, always and every time. So from now on, change your focus, if required. Start looking at the positive side of each person, incident, action, situation and learn something good. Remember, most people or situations are not as they appear, but as you are.
12. BE INTERPERSONAL: It means, being good to everyone. It is your ability to get along well and communicate with others in such a manner, that people around, are comfortable. Being good, does not mean that you have to go out of your way. It only means, be your natural self, listen carefully what others have to say, nothing wrong in disagreeing but do not be disagreeable, be helping and sharing type, be sympathetic to their point of view and be respectful and give due importance to the other persons’ presence. Avoid any remark, for the way they dress, speak, culture or eating habits, religion, state they come from or physical built. People are very touchy & sensitive about these things and you can make life time enemies in no time, if you indulge in them.
13. BE HEALTHY: For anything you do in life, be it work, worship, games or enjoyment, you need energy to indulge in everything. And energy comes from a healthy body. And healthy body comes by doing things right. Eat right, exercise right, think right, attitude right. There is enough written about the thinking and attitude, in this book. Eating right is to eat healthy foods, such as vegetables, fruits, fibrous foods and increased water intake etc. Avoid fatty but tasty fried foods, refined foods, high salt foods, aerated drinks, excessive Tea or Coffee or junk foods which makes your body junkyard. Avoid getting into the habit of eating all sorts of tasty snacks in between the meals. Instead, eat fruits or raw vegetables like carrot, radish, salad leaves, cucumber, beet root etc.
Remember one thing about those mouth watering things. Whatever it is, taste is only for a few seconds, as long as the thing remains on your tongue. Nothing before, nothing after. So, always avoid the captivity of few seconds of tongue taste or pleasure, for a lifetime of healthy living.
Then Exercise. ‘An early morning walk and exercise, is the blessing for the whole day’. Habit of getting up early, adds extra time to your life daily. A little inconvenient for few days, after which a good habit for life is formed. One hour of exercise, walk, jogging, yoga, gym, takes care of other twenty three hours spent in peace, without a guilty conscience. So invest in good health. Its like a good investment for future. Earlier you start, better off you will feel. Do not wait. Get over that feeling of laziness because vibrancy, zeal, zest, strength and energy is waiting for you.
Important thing, always, at last; Breathing. Remember, you start your life with first breath and also end with the last breath. Yes, it’s the Breathing which is life sustaining. Make a habit of taking deep breath, off and on, during the day. Deep breath means, more air inside you, which makes vital oxygen mixing well with your blood, our lifeline, which makes blood healthier. Healthy blood means healthy, vibrant living.
14. BE A GOOD LISTENER: God has given us two ears but only one tongue. Implication is clear. We should listen more, talk less. But most of us, do the opposite. Good listening habit provides you a head start everywhere. Do you know, what is the best form of social service? Just go to an old people home and listen to the inmates. There are enough philanthropists to help them with money and material, but no one has time to listen to them or their stories. Just do it and see and feel how much goodness you are spreading. Listen to others intently with a smile and you will earn a prize for yourself, where ever you are. Often it is seen, though people are listening, but are just waiting for the pause to reply. Their intention is not to listen but they are concentrating on the reply they shall give to what is being said or whatever they can add or come out with a parallel story or hearing alright but not listening. Their face expresses it all and in turn they are doing big harm to their image or personality or popularity. Such people can never reach the pinnacle of success and glory this book is written with intention to make them so.
15. MEET YOUR COMMITMENTS: Always and every time. Do not ever promise something you have doubt in fulfilling. Make it a principal of life – Under Promise and Over Deliver. Talking tall, knowing fully well, you may not be able to deliver, is demeaning yourself. You are lowering your own prestige and respect. When you are in the habit of meeting your commitments, whatever they might be, then only you become a person of substance. Your rise in life in any field will be directly proportional to how much you are committed and promises you have kept. Remember, ‘A Person is only as Good as his words’. And it pays to be as Good as your words.
16. BE KEEN INTELLIGENT OBSERVER: Though some life skills are in-built, some are naturally learnt by you while growing up, but most others are learnt by observing others. Keen observation empowers us to do better and better in life. You have to observe and learn, improve, grow and win. Make it a habit of observing others and then filter down the good qualities to adopt them. Observe and instill in yourself all those qualities, which would put you on road to control your destiny, not the other way. Observe, empower and conquer the world. That’s the way a rewarding life can be lived.
17. RETAIN MEMORIES: Life is like a video tape. Whatever is happening at this moment, becomes a memory next moment. Hence you will always have a stockpile of memories, some of which you may remember, others, likely to forget. Keep a record of the important events and people, your class fellows and friends. Not all of them but definitely, some of them with whom, you may like to remain in touch. Keep a diary of the important events, people and anecdotes. Where ever possible, keep the photographs, mail ids, CDs or any remembrances. These will come handy later in life, when you have lost touch. It’s always great to meet old friends and relationships, you have created as you wade through life. With so much help available from technology now, do not ever ignore this important aspect, which will greatly add value and purpose to your personality, when things have faded into memories.
18. PERSEVERANCE & TENACITY: Real world Leaders became so by the sheer force of perseverance and Tenacity. So can you. They never accepted ‘no’ ‘cannot be done’ or ‘impossible’ as an answer. Most Real Leaders started from scratch, created a vision in their own mind, made their followers to see and visualize that vision, a clear sequence of action worked over and then followed it with a missionary zeal till they succeeded. Their grit and determination helped them achieve their goal for the good of their followers. In short, they never gave up. Persistence & Tenacity of purpose with direction is the answer. So keep trying, never even thinking of giving up. Finally, remember one thing ‘when problems are great and your strength is about to ebb, God takes over’
. 17. ENJOY THE SMALL THINGS; As mentioned many times in the book, make a habit of making every moment of life worth its while. So do not wait to enjoy life. That, when you get this or that, you will be happy and enjoy that moment. That moment may or may not come. If you get into the habit of saving a small amount every day, in due course, it shall be accumulated into a huge amount. Same thing is true of life’s joys and happiness. Invest in goodwill. It’s a good investment and you can always cash it with accumulated returns. In life, moments you have to live are counted, numbered. How many? Nobody knows. So logic is that make each moment count. Enjoy each moment. Keep observing. There are very many things. Enjoy each one, each step of your life, each day. Do not ever let your joys or happiness be bondage to one last big achievement such as constructing a big house, buying a big care or things like that. If you wait that long, when the moment actually arrive, you may not find the long wait worth its while. So make every moment count, enjoy, relish it, cherish it, because that’s how God has made life to be. Please read lesson ‘Joy of Small Things’ again to have full impact on you.
Never ever make uncomplimentary remarks on someone’s physical appearance, height, complexion, culture, eating habits, religion, caste, family background, place of origin etc. Though you might just laugh and forget or make others laugh, these remarks are remembered for life by the recipient in bad taste. Life is fluid and you never know when and where other person may pay you back in same coins. Always have friendly cooperative disposition.
Two things happen. First thing is that you become so much used to them that you cannot do without them. Secondly, when you become so much used to them, these things become routine, losing charm. You want something more expensive, something more exclusive, which others can’t afford, to satisfy your craving. But sooner or later, sometimes because of shortage of money, responsibilities your conscience pricks you to have spent such huge amounts just to satisfy your whim and fancies on things which do not add any value to your life except show-off. Most other times, when you see poor people all around, having to make do with lesser amount to feed whole family for a month and you spending an equivalent or more in a star hotel on one dinner with family or friends. Your habit of overspending may take an ugly turn in your domestic or professional life. Coming to the point raised initially, Happiness and Satisfaction cannot be bought with a totally value-deprived lifestyle bringing acrimony, jealousy, envy, dissatisfaction to your life. In such matters, always respond to your conscience at first opportunity. You cannot ignore your inner voice or conscience for long. Earlier you do, better off you will be living a healthy, happy and satisfied life more in tune with your conscience rather artificiality.
Often, our first reaction may be that we know all these things. What is there to learn? These things are everyday’s occurrence in life, so why should I waste my time on these things. Well, with due regards to your opinion, IT IS NOT SO. As you grow in life, both in knowledge and stature, you will realize and learn that more you know, you will feel, lesser you knew. There is so much to learn. And these are life skills and wisdom, which one mostly learns from own experiences in life. But life experiences take a long time. By the time you learn from your own experiences, it’s too late already, most of it is over by then. So it’s not of much use. Feel good and confident about life. This book is meant to make you a leader, richer, accomplished, experienced, balanced, motivated and inspired. Be interested, be involved about these matters and the difference it make for you and those you love and care.
From the pricing of the book, you can see that it’s not a commercial venture. I want to pay back something from the abundance which I have received from society, my country. It is my way. When you are my age, less or more, you also make a sincere effort to pass down your experiences and make people learn from them. Only thing I can tell you is that it is not difficult, once you are at it. Make a sincere try, God will help you.
When it will all be over for me, no one knows. After ten years, I may be there, may not be there. After twenty, most likely I will not be there. But after thirty, I shall positively not be there. People with my kind of heart, do not live that long. However, this book ‘YES TOGETHER WE CAN’, WILL BE THERE TO GUIDE YOU, IMPART WISDOM, MOTIVATE YOU, INSPIRE YOU. Undoubtedly, that will be the biggest achievement of my life.