Yes, Together We Can
by (Capt) Ravi K Mahajan
33. PLEASING PERSONALITY
Coins always make Sound but currency notes are always Silent. So, increase your value by remaining Calm & Silent, by your Pleasing Personality.
Pleasing personality means those who come in contact with you, are really pleased to meet you and would like to remain in your company. It is very natural that every living being wants to be loved, needed, wanted or missed when not present. With little effort on your part, you can transform yourself into a Pleasing Personality, a sought after Person. A Pleasing and Attractive Personality can blossom by your own efforts by constant self-Improvisation.
Following are the ways to Self-Create a Pleasing Personality and become the Person you have always wanted to be:
1. Hand Shake: Since, a Hand Shake is the first contact when you are introduced to any one, it has to be perfected. While Shaking Hands, apply just enough pressure to impress that other person is Welcome and Wanted. A Smile is the pre-requisite for any Warm Hand Shake denoting Friendship, Warmth and Bonhomie. However, while being introduced to Ladies or Seniors for the first time, do not extend your hand first. If they offer their hand, only then you should offer yours and press their hand lightly and leave it. When on a sales call, do not ever extend your hand first for a Hand Shake. It is the prerogative of the person you are meeting, whether he wishes to shake hand or not.
2. Voice: When Speaking, your voice must be Cool, Calm and well Modulated. Voice should not be loud, nor should it be shrill or high pitched. By constant practice, you can achieve this. When something is said, take time to react or respond. Always, behave like a big Airliner, not like a fighter plane.
3. Be a Good Listener: Always work on being a Good and Attentive Listener. When others are talking, do not interrupt them. Even if you disagree with what is being said, never let your disagreement be known abruptly or aggressively. Always put forth your viewpoint Calmly but Effectively. A Good Listener is more popular than a good speaker. Gift of Patient Listening is most valued by everyone.
4. Interest in others: You can only attract others by first attracting yourselves to them. You have to be amply interested in others’ Lives, Family, Hobbies, Habits, Interests and Profession. Talk about them and ask questions about them to show your sincerity and eagerness to be genuinely interested in them.
5. Personal Bearing: Stand or Sit erect to exhibit confidence and poise. Avoid drooping posture when sitting or walking. Dress adequately for the occasion. When attending Office or Social Functions, avoid casuals. Dress smartly and Smile, and you will find only smiles awaiting you wherever you go. A smile is infectious and others would only smile back, when they find you smiling at them. Always be punctual but do not question others if they are late unless you are the boss.
6. Positive Attitude: Foundation of Sound Positive Character is the basic ingredient of any Pleasing Personality. ‘Positive people attract while negative repel’. Inculcate a Positive Attitude in life, which would not only transform yourself into a Pleasing Personality, but also shall help you in many more ways in life. You must get yourselves into the habit of looking at brighter side of things. Never crib about things in others’ presence and do not tell your troubles to others. Be patient. Never give the impression to others of impatience and irritation. Exhibit Tolerance and Self-control. Say ‘Yes’ and make it your Favorite Word, but never be a ‘yes’ man.
7. Appreciation: It’s a basic human need to want to be appreciated. Meet it. Get into the habit of identifying what is Good and Appreciable in others and express it unhesitatingly. In other words, always be appreciative of things, people and good qualities they possess. But avoid sycophancy and flattery. When you are a Team Leader, be liberal in praising your Team Members for their efforts, which result in much needed motivation and enhanced performance. When the Team performs well, give credit to the Team but own up the responsibility of team’s failure and short-comings.
8. Avoid the Blame Game: You can avoid ill-will by avoiding the tendency to blame or criticize others without thinking. You may disagree but never appear disagreeable. Put forth your viewpoint firmly but politely, making it clear that the idea is to improve things and not to blame someone for what has gone wrong. When you blame others, they become defensive about what they have done, which generates avoidable arguments and counter arguments. Your Words and Actions should reinforce the genuineness of your thoughts. Never let it appear from what you say or from your body language that you want to take advantage of the situation by putting the other person down. A Pleasing Personality comes handy, when things go wrong, which they often do. Always be fair specially to your subordinates.
9. Cheerfulness and Enthusiasm: Always be Cheerful and Enthusiastic about things and events. People would like to be in your company, if you are Cheerful, Enthusiastic and Possess a Positive Attitude in life. Create Humor and interesting anecdotes. No one likes to be in the company of morose, serious and sad looking people. Fill your mind with Positive thoughts aggressively and then, it is easy to remain Cheerful and Enthusiastic.
10. Hold your Temper: Again a matter of habit-creation. Circumstances and Situations may sometimes, tempt you to lose Temper, go out of control and think negatively and in anger, say things which you never mean. Remember, Anger is only a letter short of ‘Danger’. Once a word goes out, like an arrow, it cannot be retrieved. Be cool and hold your temper. Never take action when you are angry. It will save you lot of embarrassment in life, if you are even tempered, Calm, Cool, and maintain your poise even in the face of difficult situations and provocations. Mind you, ‘Both Human and Steel lose their values, once they lose Temper’.
11. Admit your mistakes: Saying ‘I am sorry’ or ‘I think I was wrong’ or ‘ I stand corrected’ are signs of magnanimity, not weakness. Everyone makes mistakes, but unfortunately few admit them. Try to be one of those few. A person who never makes mistake, never makes anything. Admitting your mistakes before children, fetches you children’s Confidence and Goodwill. By apologizing, parents teach children that any one can be wrong and it is worth it to admit. Another important aspect is to accept others’ sincere apologies graciously and sportingly. Do not ever try to take advantage or taunt the person who has sincerely apologized for his mistake or wrongdoing.
12. Be Helpful, Kind and Generous: Create a Helping Attitude. When others offer help, accept it graciously. As a saying goes ‘In the same degree you are helpful, you will be happy’. A Helpful and Kind Person is always Happy, Trusted and Respected by all, and is Self -Assured, Self-Confident, person of high self esteem and is at Peace with himself.
13. Avoid confrontation: Specially, in minor inconsequential issues. Remember, you can go up the ladder with others’ Support and Co-operation only. Always, look for the opportunity to co-operate with others. When you co-operate with others, others will automatically co-operate with you. Many times, you might win the argument but lose the person. Sometimes, it is better to lose the argument than losing an important relationship.
14. Thanks and Gratitude: Adopt an Attitude of Gratitude. For any service rendered, always express Thanks and Gratitude profusely. No act of service is too small to acknowledge. Always be on the look out for any opportunity to acknowledge and convey THANKS and GRATITUDE. When complimented, respond by saying just ‘THANK YOU’.
15. Self-Esteem and Self-Worth: Always, keep these two things high about yourselves in your own mind. Keep your intentions good, with no intention to harm anyone. Such an attitude will give a big boost to your self-confidence to face Life, Challenges and Situations. Abide by the rules specially while Driving. Do not blindly ape others. Make your own standards and never lower them. Stop worrying about things over which you have no control. Do not boast of your achievements or accomplishments. Let others notice and evaluate them. Also avoid the temptation to criticize others, events or actions.
Remember, your only limitation is the one which you setup in your own mind. You should have a burning desire to improve your personality, make it Attractive and Effective, for others wanting to be in your company. By constant practice, you can self create yourself on the lines of above points and be the person you have always wanted to be. There is a treasure of Good Habits inside you waiting to be unearthed. Your dedication to become a Pleasant Personality, should be such that when you could be Brilliant or Pleasant, you would always choose Pleasant.